First Certificate Students this is your homework for tonight. Any other students can write an essay if they like. Everyone should consult the guide on writing an essay that you can find on the main page. Post your essays in the comments section and I will give you feedback.
You have been doing a class project on food. Your teacher has asked you to write an essay giving opinions on the following statement:
Parents should let their children eat what they want.
Write your essay using this guide:
Introduction: Importance of food for health. Disagree with the stement.
a. Parents know what is good for childen´s health, responsibility to guide them . Need to ensure they have a balanced diet (give examples).
b. Many children would avoid food with vitamins, minerals, proteins.
Fast food, chips, sweets, chocolate: all bad for health, eg. sweets cause tooth decay.
c. Some children might ear all day - become overweight.
Others might not eat at all - become to thin.
Conclusion: Restate opinion: need for parents to give guidance.
This is an example by Ana Sousa:
It is a fact that our diet is really important for our
health. Therefore we must have a equilibrate diet with
all the nutrients we need.
The children need to be told what to eat, because they
don’t know what food is healthy or unhealthy. They
only want to eat what they like which is often fast
food or other kinds of aliments which are rich in fats
and sugar for example chocolates, sweets, biscuits,
hamburgers, etc. Because of this, parents must guide
their children and teach them how to eat healthily,
and also introduce to them aliments rich in vitamins,
minerals, proteins and carbon hydrates which are
essential for their growing up. A healthy diet should
include: pasta, rice, fresh vegetables and fruit, and
fish, avoiding the pre-cooked food.
What is more some children may not know the amount
they should eat. Ones would not eat enough for the
activities they do and become thinner, others would
eat without control all the day so that they become
overweight, causing them health problems.
To sum up, it seems to me that children would never eat
what they want, and parents have to teach and guide
them to choose the right diet in order to have a life
without health problems.
Ana Sousa Ortega
The Full English Experience for FCE and CAE exams and how to get there from Upper Intermediate.
Ok Ana the structure is very nice and it is nicely set out.
ReplyDeleteYou make a few mistakes, mainly by directly translating from Spanish and a couple of mistakes with articles. They are as follows:
equilibrate diet - balanced diet
The children - no article.
2nd paragraph - In this context aliments should just be foods (this is tricky because in this context foods is countable and it's normally uncountable) Or you can say different types of food.
3rd paragraph - ones!?
Last paragraph - would or should?
Overall this is pretty good and quite readable make sure you revise your work to stop making these small errors.
It is a fact that our diet is really important for our health. Therefore we must have a equilibrate diet with all the nutrients we need.
ReplyDeleteThe children need to be told what to eat, because they don’t know what food is healthy or unhealthy. They only want to eat what they like which is often fast food or other kinds of aliments which are rich in fats and sugar for example chocolates, sweets, biscuits, hamburgers, etc. Because of this, parents must guide their children and teach them how to eat healthily, and also introduce to them aliments rich in vitamins, minerals, proteins and carbon hydrates which are essential for their growing up. A healthy diet should include: pasta, rice, fresh vegetables and fruit, and fish, avoiding the pre-cooked food.
What is more some children may not know the amount they should eat. Ones would not eat enough for the activities they do and become thinner, others would eat without control all the day so that they become overweight, causing them health problems.
To sum up, it seems to me that children would never eat what they want, and parents have to teach and guide them to choose the right diet in order to have a life without health problems.
Ana Sousa Ortega
This was my essay ! i will correct all my mistakes
Great thanks Ana! Glad you managed to post ok. Good luck with the essay, any questions just post them too!
DeleteSorry David but I wrote it and then read the instructions but all the infor we were supposed to include is in only one parragraph. Sorry. Her is the text:
ReplyDeleteEverybody wants to be healthy and for parents is very important that their children stay healthy. We are said that for being healthy we have to eat everything in appropriate quantities and do some sport so do you think that your child is going to eat healthy if you let he or she eat what he or she wants? Me neither.
Depending on the age of our children, there can be two options: Or they eat healthy because they want to stay healthy or being slim (probably too slim) or, if they are younger, they’ll probably eat chocolate, hamburgers, fried potatoes, etc. every day so even what happens parents have to guide their children for eating well and be really healthy nor too slim, nor too fat.
To conclude, in my opinion parents have to let their children choose what to eat but between some options for preventing them for being too slim or overweight.
This starts off well Angel, but it gets confused and is hard to follow and therefore an examiner would find it hard to follow.
DeleteSome things to think about when you correct it. Prepositions, adverbs, gerund and infinitive, linking words N.B. you can't start a choice of two options with 'Or'.
'We are said that for being healthy we have to eat everything in appropriate quantities'
Told vs Said. Said is usually used for a conversation and told for a lesson, instruction etc. We are told to brush our teeth. Also the gerund vs infinitve is a problem in this sentence.
2nd paragraph look at the linking words. Not and nor, the first time you write not and 2nd time nor. Nor = No + or. So not is the first negative and nor the second.
On a second reading this isn't so bad but you could do with writing it out again.
See you Tuesday.